Nurse Ratched 3:53 Sun Jul 26
Britons in Peril
|
|
We live in dangerous times. Apparently any of the following is going to wipe us out:
1) Isis
2) the seagulls
3) giant hogweed.
Yet still we* venture out of our homes. Heroes.
Which one's your money on, or do you envisage an alternative end to civilisation in this country?
(* well, I don't, if I can help it)
|
|
|
Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Hammer and Pickle
11:00 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
There was no flying ant day this year - they're clearly massing forces for the big push next campaigning season.
|
1985
9:58 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
gph...
On a school trip we once caught Brian Shafner fast asleep with page 34 of the Littlewoods catelogue open on his bed, and an item usually reserved to be worn between the foot and the shoe placed over the nether region.. Is that what you mean?
|
gph
9:55 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
All the missing socks of the last few centuries actually ran away and have gathered together to overthrow us.
The brains of the operation have had human DNA injected into them by "various means", and this has evolved.
|
1985
9:49 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
It's not the pain. As you say, it isn't too bad.
It's the PSYCHE. The fact that these little yellowjackets are OUT TO GET YOU, THEY HATE YOU. THEY WAN'T TO ANNOY YOU THEN HAVE A GO AT YOU.And LAUGH a little WASPY LAUGH to all of their WASPY MATES back AT BASE.
(uses CAPS for added emphasis)
As I was saying, it is a PSYCHOLOGICAL BATTLE.
DO NOT STAND FOR IT
|
Nurse Ratched
9:19 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
I've been stung a few times by wasps. It doesn't hurt, it just itches. So I have no idea why I still get a bit nervous when they're around.
|
1985
8:17 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
I go for them when I see them, cos I know they're only gonna go for me eventually. Strike first Nurse, kill or be killed.
|
Hammer and Pickle
8:16 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Well, Infidel's caldera is certainly less than stable.
|
Nurse Ratched
8:15 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
I don't think we've even begun to test the limits of their stroppiness. Yet still we tease them with our ice lollies and glazed doughnuts.
|
1985
8:13 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
ALL wasps are stroppy.
It's not wasps in general you need to worry about. It's the massive (MASSIVE) ones.
Why do you think they have been quiet for the last couple of years? They are being engineered, yes wasps with 40ft wing spans.
I reckon we'll see em in a couple of years from now.
|
Nurse Ratched
8:10 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Fuck sake, couldn't you have just said 'stroppy wasps'?
|
Infidel
8:07 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
The biggest threat we face is from the idiots who think we need to keep adding young people to the workforce to support the growing population of elderly people.
This is going to kill civilisation in the UK.
The young people we bring in to keep this imaginary age pyramid in the right shape (lots of youngsters at the base supporting a smaller apex of pensioners) have an inconvenient habit of getting old themselves.
Adding more of them means having a much larger population of elderly people a few decades later than would otherwise have been the case.
That in turn means even more young people stuffed in to the base of the pyramid to keep the ratio stable.
Run that movie forward and you get 100 million, 150 million,200 million people in the UK -in fact it's a recipe for infinite expansion of the population.
You have to have straw for brains to think there is such a thing as an ideal age pyramid. The right way to approach it is to estimate the optimum population size for the country and then adjust the two levers at the government's disposal - child benefits and immigration control - to manage to that population size.
Right now both levers are set to 'maximise' - the state heavily subsidises families to encourage them to have more kids and also operates an open door policy for economic migrants.
Eliminate child benefits/tax credits and start deporting illegal migrants and we could slowly reduce the population to around 50 million - which would solve just about every problem facing the country today - the housing shortage, overcrowded schools, traffic congestion, rail congestion, water shortages,unemployment....
|
Nurse Ratched
6:18 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Subby, yes it's funny how we just carry on with things, making future plans as a species, knowing that thing is going to blow up at some point in the nearish future and then everything - even the Dyson Air Blade hand dryer - will be rendered pointless and utterly destroyed. Has anyone checked recently to see if the caldera is wobbling?
|
Bethnal Green
6:17 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
My money is on Japanese Knot Weed.
|
Uncle Junior
6:08 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Don't forget global warming ' the ice caps are all going to melt and we are all going to drown ...
|
subcutaneous
5:53 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
When Yellowstone blows, it will create a dust cloud that will cover the entire globe for 1000s of years. All life on this planet will therefore die out with no light, or heat for so many millennia.
I hope I'm not around in the next couple of hundred years to endure it.
|
the exile
5:48 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Someone I know in the Navy told me about an ingenious way of destroying seagulls - Alka-Selzer sandwiches. Yes, wrap tablets in white bread and seal them by pressing the edges together, then throw them at the seagulls. Apparently they are incapable of belching so the gas builds up inside the fuckers and they simply burst. I hasten to add I have not tried it myself. On the seagulls, that is.
|
Nurse Ratched
5:35 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Yes, that would have implications for us over here. Would get moderately cloudy, I am given to understand. We might have to resort to wrestling seagulls for chips.
|
stomper
5:33 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Sorry Nurse, you forgot Yellowstone Netional Park exploding
|
Sxboy_66
5:28 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
Archaeological evidence confirms that Britons have been consuming alcohol for over 2000 years.
Anything that even thinks about fucking with us would do well to remember that fact.
|
Takashi Miike
5:26 Sun Jul 26
Re: Britons in Peril
|
nurse, the country would be in trouble if they all had the speed and biting power of my fred. luckily most are dozy as fuck and munch like thora hird after a nap
|
| 
